None. My next door neighbour is fluent in French, I shouted over the fence at her from a distance of two metres or more and told her your story. She said, that sounds tough, I shared a house in college with this girl with only a couple words of English. I said, where was she from. She said, Thurles.
I had similar issue myself! I was in our local supermarket (not one of the Germans, I’m better than that) at 9:30 am yesterday and the girl said I’d have to wait to buy booze. I said, fine, I’ll wait. She said, what are you going to do for the next hour. I said, imagine My Conor at home minding the kids.
My friend Tina is a teacher, we don’t bother inviting her on expensive girls-away weekends in case she gets embarrassed. I rang her there and said what measures are you taking during online classes with your students? She said three measures of tonic to one of gin, the time just flies by really.
I asked my Posh Cousin. She said, not a chance we could take English people now, we’re still avoiding those back from Cheltenham in case we catch the you know what? I said, coronavirus? She said, no, stupidity.
I love the way you believe I’m pretending. This lockdown is going to make things difficult for a lot of couples. I told my Conor we needed to start social distancing. He said, there’s no way I can give you sexual pleasure from two metres away. I said, that’s not what you claim on your Tinder profile. #Boastful