I couldn’t possibly condone violence. And listen, you’ve absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I know it isn’t Sundays Well or Blackrock, but there is nothing wrong with the Rochestown Road, (As long as the wind isn’t blowing from Passage.)
My neighbour moved to Galway because she loves bongos and hen parties. I said how did people up there greet the news? She said, they’re devastated. I said, why? She said, because Cairo also made the list and that place is like Limerick with a few pyramids. #Harsh #OnCairo
The Posh Cousin is all over this. She’s running a mini-bus from Cork Con into town for the parade, 40 quid a head to discourage people from Turners Cross. She said, all I need now is something middle class that is guaranteed to repel the lower orders. I said, try singing Ireland’s Call. #JesusMeEars
My nephew says he can’t sleep because of the impending ecological disaster, but we all know it’s because of the mushrooms he scored off Mad Mike in Goleen. I said, is Extinction Rebellion in need of more publicity? He said, of course. I said, ok, so what would you say to a leading social media influencer joining your ranks? He said, I’d say #PissOff. #ThatsANo
Nice one. I’m convinced the internet is listening to my every word. My Conor came home last night and said he had evidence that I was cheating on him – he was very emotional in fairness and said ‘I hope you rot in hell’. 30 seconds later I got an email advertising a weekend break in Clonmel. #Coincidence?