Ask Audrey: She gets a lot of business telling people from Wilton why their son didn’t get into Pres. (As if it wasn’t obvious.)

Audrey's been sorting out Cork people for ages...

We’ve just lost our legend of an au pair to my bitch of a best friend, who lured her away with six flights home a year and a new Nissan Juke. It’s such a shame, the kids adored her and she was a lesbian to boot, which helped my Colin to keep it in his pants. (Almost.) Anyway, we are doing Skype interviews for a replacement over a few days next week, and didn’t Colin just arrive home with his hair and eyebrows dyed black. Is there any legal way to advertise for an unattractive au pair?