Audrey's been sorting out Cork people for ages...
I thought that was just Ballinlough. The Posh Cousin works in recruitment. She said you can’t just specify that in an ad. I said, is there anywhere she could place the ad to guarantee she gets a minger? She said maybe try the Limerick Leader. #LettersToTheEditor
My niece is a Conflict Resolution Guru specialising in breaking bad news. (She didn’t get the points for Science.) I hear she gets a lot of business telling people from Wilton why their son didn’t get into Pres. (As if it wasn’t obvious.) I said, I need your professional advice, what’s the best way to get away from someone in cheap runners? She said “leg it” and handed me an invoice for €400 . I’m in the wrong job.
Good to hear you’re back below the 20 stone. I rang you’re house there and passed on your message. Marjorie said that’s the best birthday present ever. I said, a chin? She said no, leaving me alone for a month and arriving home in a new Jag. I’d say ye’re well matched.
My Conor is a genius at tech, so file that under Good For Something. I said, My Conor is it safe to pass on your secrets to these new voice activated yokes in your house. Before he could answer our new Alexa said, feel free to tell us anything. Then it played the movie I Know What You Did Last Summer on our TV. Me nerves.
My niece is a Marriage Relationship Counsellor. I said, is there any way of telling if your wife of 30 years is making plans for your funeral? The niece said, check if she’s awake. #Bleak.