Audrey has been sorting out Cork people for ages...
Who, Prendeville? Don’t worry, there’s probably a ‘claws’ in your insurance policy. (I’m on fire!) I genuinely can’t understand why it’s news that that there is a wild cat on the loose in Crosshaven. I was down there at closing time on Saturday night and counted at least 27 cougars on the prowl. #LockUpYourSons
Particularly if it’s “I’m free at three Doctor Donie, call over with your bag of tricks.” Imagine. WhatsApp is lethal alright. I feel sorry for poor Stephen Ward, and not just because he’s from Dublin.
It’s no joke being in Roy Keane’s bad books, but then Roy has so many bad books at this stage he could probably open a library.
Thinks aren’t that bad yet. I asked my Posh Cousin what’s the cure around Blackrock for a child that wants to play camogie. She said drive them over to Turners Cross and say, is there where you want to end up living, is it? #Harsh.
Let me know when you find one. In terms of weirdly bad ideas, bus apartheid is up there with getting a full-body massage from Jacob Rees-Mogg. I asked my Posh Cousin if there is anything in Cork that’s guaranteed to keep the Norries segregated from nice middle class people like yourself. She said the cost of tennis lessons. #Genius
I asked my friend the vet if dogs can have accents. She said absolutely, did you ever listen to Ryan Giggs. (Hilaire.) Now that I think about it, our labrador came from Kerry – I had to kick him off the bed at night because it was like sleeping with a Kerry politician. (Don’t imagine.)