Ask Audrey: 'He’s doing a PhD on Cork Language in UCC, as he’s terrified of ever getting a job'

Audrey's been sorting out Cork people for ages...

Now, listen up Paddy. My wife and I are travelling first class to Cork from Heathrow airport tomorrow morning, to escape the flag-waving untouchables around town for the royal wedding, shouting ‘we’d be lost without the queen, innit.’ While the royals are considered quite common in my circles, my wife and I would still like to watch the ceremony nonetheless, pride in your patria and all that. (Patria is the Latin word for home country, you hedge-school dimwits.) Anyway, where would be a good place in Cork to catch the wedding on TV?