Ask Audrey: ‘The banter is where you insult someone all night and they can’t say anything, because this is Ireland'

Audrey has been sorting out Cork people for ages

C’mere, what’s the story with shouting out your ex’s name when you’re having sex with the old doll. I do be doing it all the time after my ex wished me happy birthday on Facebook. The old doll retaliated by shouting out her ex’s names, when we’re doing the business. It’s hard to enjoy myself, listening to her going Sully, Rasher, Stinger, The Denim Boy and Jeremy. (I never knew she dated some langball from Christians.) I need this sorted, pronto like. – Proud Paul, Togher.

Have you considered talking to your ‘old doll’, rather than just sending her photos of your new tracksuit on Facebook Messenger? I had a great clear the air chat with My Conor. He said, what are you thinking about when we’re making love? I said, that 30 seconds can seem like an eternity.