Ask Audrey: Herself is after falling in with a bunch of intellectuals inside in Killorglin

Got an issue? Ask Audrey... 

Hello old stock. I’ve taken my wife Marjorie on a grand tour around Italy, after she caught me in Kinsale with a beauty therapist. The only other Irish people on the bus are Donie and his wife Marie, from Ballyvolane. How can I persuade the other people on the bus I have nothing in common with this couple? -Reggie, Blackrock, Marie turned around in the bus the other day and started singing, Ye’re all a pack of langers down the back!

And were ye? I had a similar problem in Italy last year, with a couple called Gerry and Phil from Fairhill. When we were driving through Rome, Gerry said, “Look Phil girl, they have a Coliseum here as well!” My Posh Cousin was with me and said, I think you’ll find now Gerry that the Coliseum here, has more going for it than the one in Cork. He said, I think that depends on whether or not you fancy a game of pool, girl. My Posh Cousin said, what’s pool? We were the ones who ended up as a laughing stock.