Ask Audrey: My wife is after getting a new job online, as a MILF

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How’re oo goin on? Herself had a few glasses of wine on Wednesday night and didn’t she log into one of them porn sites by mistake. Two things have happened as a result of this, one more shocking than the other. The first is we have started getting a lot of emails from a woman in Russia who can hardly see out over her boobs. The second is my wife is after signing up for a bit of work with one of these porn sites, where she has described herself as a milf. What is a man like myself to do in this situation? — Din Dan Dinny Dan, Dunmanway, what’s a milf?

Not something I could explain in a family newspaper. But if you’re wife is a milf, then I’m Melania Trump. I think your experience proves one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt, Din Dan Dinny Dan. It isn’t necessarily a good idea to give broadband to people in rural areas.