I hope it’s worth it. I think it’s clear what you need to do. Send him a text saying: “I’ll be walking past you in my knickers in 10seconds. Please look up or I’ll get your father to write you out of the will.”
I happen to know that the fastest animal in the world is a Rochestown Road man who thinks he might miss out on his inheritance.
Was it there before you got in? I feel sorry for poor Aidan, living so close to the Cork border in Rathmore. Five All-Ireland’s is no consolation when you live in Ireland’s version of East Berlin.
A couple of hundred metres in the right direction and he could have grown up in paradise. Well, Ballydesmond to be more precise, but these things are all relative. (Just like the people in Rathmore. I hear they’re all relatives as well.)
I feel sorry for Gwyneth. She used to be number one when it came to Crazy Things Americans Say; but that title is gone, now that Orange Man is in the White House. I was going to recommend you sit down with your wife and tell her your feelings about the matter.
Then I took a look at your photo on Facebook. Put it this way, if I thought that sleeping with a jade egg in my vagina was a turn off for you, I’d probably buy two of them. (No offence.)
The Food Safety Authority over there reckons that anything crispy or burned is bad news. They’re probably referring to my sister’s chicken soup. I’ve tried to show her a few recipes, but you might as well be trying to teach elocution above in Kilmallock.
Anyway, the authorities are saying now that you shouldn’t cook roast potatoes for more than 25 minutes. That’s the best way you can be sure of reaching a ripe old age. With any luck, you might find yourself sitting in a home wearing a nappy at the age of 125, thinking “I haven’t enjoyed a single meal in the last 53 years, like. What time is Nationwide?”
I do and I’ve already booked an appointment at the hairdressers. There are a few things that will strike you on a trip around Limerick. One of the locals, for starters. In terms of decent culture on Shannonside, I strongly recommend you bring a pot of yoghurt.
In fairness, one of the best things about Limerick is that it’s two hours from Killarney. Any closer and you might be tempted to take a day trip. As for the match, bon chance, and I hope we beat the pants off ye. Alternatively, you could just come down to Cork and I’ll beat the pants of you myself. (I’m usually in a bit of a rush in case my Conor comes home.)