Ask Audrey has been sorting out Cork people for years

Got an issue? Ask Audrey.

Good day Madam. I am a civil servant, quite high up in the Department for Getting Rid of Foreigners, here in London. I am writing to inform you Paddys that you must do British passport control at Cork airport. Do you think you are up to it? — Gerard, I’m rather fond of spanking.

At least we have one thing in common. I heard alright that London wants us to stop dangerous fundamentalists from getting into Britain. So if Boris Johnson ever pays a visit, we’ll stop him from going home. Howzat? I have some bad news if you think you can stop Ireland being used as a back door by the great unwashed. They are already here. To see for yourself, I suggest a weekend in Waterford. Actually, seeing as you are such a big fan of masochism, why not make it a week. Cheerio.