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Cork’s unique agony Aunt fields your questions.

I went down to clean out my luxury mobile home near Crookhaven this weekend. I’ll keep back the exact address in case it gets over-run by Norries, though it might be too late, because some butcher from Hollyhill is after taking the mobile next door. He told me he nearly had a banger when he saw the cost of the rent. What does that even mean? Chloe, Well Road, I sound posher than Simon Coveney.

A banger is Norrie-speak for heart-attack. He was pretending to have no money, so you’d respect him. It’s the exact opposite of the way things work on the southside, but sure, who am I telling? Mind you, I note that you don’t actually own a house in Crookhaven. And you don’t even call it Crook. So you’re probably considered some kind of loser out in Douglas.