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Ciao. I was looking at an interview on your RTÉ during the week, where they talked to some girl called Michaella who is on holidays in Peru. I couldn’t make out what happened, but it seems like everyone hates her because she dyed her hair blonde. And yet I am strangely attracted to this Michaella. What is going on? — Luca, Milan and Bishopstown.

You’re Italian, Luca. You are strangely attracted to all women. But there is something more powerful at play here. And that’s Michaella’s voice. It is impossible to resist someone with a Northern Ireland accent. As I repeatedly said to my Conor, after I arrived back from a hen party in Belfast with a weird collection of love bites. He was furious at first but then suggested a spot of make-up sex. I said grand as long as you talk like Jamie Dornan. Such a pity that he doesn’t look like him.