Sex File: Is pornography ruining our connection in bed? 

Using porn as a stimulus is effective to some degree but over a sustained period it's not particularly enjoyable

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Overall our sex life is good - regular, satisfying, no technical issues - but after nearly 30 years of marriage it feels increasingly functional. I'm all for quickies but I miss feeling emotionally connected to my husband in bed. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a porn film (and not in a good way). How do we get that intimacy back?

At first glance, your problem is one that many of my readers would be happy to have. To have a good, regular and satisfying sex life with your husband after three decades is enviable but your reference to feeling like you are in a porn film is a red flag.