Sex File: He's fixated with his performance in bed 

His explicit focus on your pleasure is an indication of ego and insecurity.

Picture: iStock 

My new partner is obsessed with my orgasm. In theory this is great, but in practice it feels like he is more interested in his achievement than my experience (or ours), working his way through positions and focusing on how long he can last. How can I help us connect?

While it is lovely to be the centre of someone's sexual attention, the reality is that focus always needs to be balanced with copious amounts of abandon. Orgasm is an autonomic response and the minute you are under pressure to serve one up, your body shuts down. A lot of men view female orgasm as a stamp of approval. It is tangible evidence that they know what they are doing. But if there is one surefire way to get sex wrong, it is to try to get it 'right'.