Sex File: We are struggling to enjoy sober sex

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My wife and I have cut back on alcohol recently, which has improved many things - except our sex life. I don't think we realised how much we relied on a glass of wine to get us in the mood, and for her to really relax and let go. What else can we try? How do we enjoy sober sex?

If you relied on alcohol to relax, swapping in other activities might do the trick. Sharing a hot bubble bath with lots of scented lavender oil is a great way to unwind at the end of the day. It also ensures that your skin is soft, warm and squeaky clean, which makes foreplay and sex much more pleasurable. Using candles to create a calm and peaceful environment is also a great way to switch off the brain buzz. Dimmer lighting mimics the body's circadian rhythm and reduces visual stimulation, which tells your body that it is time to relax.