Learner Dad: The kids play video games as we drink wine and agree they play too many video games

Pat Fitzpatrick is all for playdates,  even three days in a row. Picture: iStock 

Can a kid have too many playdates?

That’s the big question after last weekend.

It started with B urger Friday. This is the ritual in our house where we have burgers and chips and break all the rules.

I might eat a packet of chocolate digestives while listening to a Buddy Holly playlist. Our friends visit with their two children - they play video games with our two kids, while the parents drink wine and agree that we let our kids play too many video games.

This Friday was no exception. Our friends stayed longer than planned, we drank too much wine, it was fantastic, all the sweeter now that Covid isn’t a thing in our lives anymore. The kids were half-crazed after the video games but went to sleep quickly enough.

The next day flew by. Our daughter’s itinerary read :

10.30am:  S ing in choir for first Holy Communion, don’t tell anyone you’re not baptised.

12 noon: Horse-riding. ( We’ve gone very Downton Abbey since moving to the country )

3pm: Party with bouncy castle until late. Well, 7.30 pm, but that’s late enough.

My wife was the taxi-driver for this itinerary, while I stayed at home with child number two and his friend, who came over for a boys’ day. They did what boys do – talked about really big numbers (my guy loves ‘trillions’) and lazed around until I bribed them into spending an hour on the beach.

Our daughter arrived back from her bouncy castle, they both stared at Netflix for an hour and flopped into bed.

We drank too much wine, it was fantastic

Our son woke up the next day and asked if it would be OK if we did nothing and saw no one all day. We all agreed that would be a good idea. Until a knock at the door announced some neighbouring kids were up for playtime and our two nearly jumped on them with excitement.

That’s when I wondered:  can kids have too many play dates? I don’t mean activities here – I definitely think kids are over-schedule d with activities during the week. The mental effort involved in getting kids out the door to GAA/gymnastics/soccer/swimming leaves everyone crawling into bed at night.

But playdates are different. There is no search for a missing shin guard or trying to find a clean water bottle, for starters. I look forward to playdates because my two love them and they tend to leave me alone when there are other kids in the house.

If you can hold out for ten minutes of them pleading for video games , they’ll go off and do something else. This is often them re-enacting their favourite video games, which is a bit sad, but at least they’re moving around and not looking at screens.

Most importantly, they’re with people their own age. So when they talk about video games and YouTubers, the other person knows what they’re talking about and is happy to join the conversation. 

When my son starts telling me about his favourite video game on Roblox, I just say “really!” every ten seconds, like the nodding bird Homer Simpsons use d to type yes into his computer, to make it look like he’s paying attention at work.

The best thing about playdates is they’re learning about being human beings from their friends, people they actually respect, as against their parents, who are misguided dinosaurs.

I know how they feel . I can remember the first time I didn’t want to be around my parents anymore.

I’d always loved going to Coolmain strand with my parents. And then, one day, I was lying there when it occurred to me that I couldn’t wait to go home and see my friends. Just like that. I ended up getting badly sunburned on my chest that day – my mother felt I deserved it.

Anyway, playdates. I’m all for them, even three days in a row. Our two are at that age now when all the good stuff comes from being around other kids.

They’ll have time to themselves soon enough, when the evenings close in and we retreat back to our family caves. For now, the sun is out and barely goes down. Let them play away.