Sex File: She needs to read erotica to get in the mood before sex

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My girlfriend finds it quite difficult to become aroused, but has found that reading erotic fiction to get her in the mood before we have sex works well. Part of me doesn't mind, but the fact that she relies on it to get hot makes me feel like I'm not a great boyfriend.

I can see why your girlfriend's interest in erotica might trouble you. After all she'd probably take issue if you used porn to get aroused. However, there is a big difference between the two genres. While both are designed to be sexually stimulating, in porn there is no story and no foreplay. It's all about the sex. In erotica the reader has to work a lot harder to get to the sex. In erotica there is emotional investment as well as flirting, erotic tension and pursuit. The romantic journey counts as part of the foreplay and the ultimate climax is as emotional as it is sexual.