Sex File: My new man is quite dull in bed

"It's a pity that people are not more open about sexual inexperience - because from the time that young people become sexually active, every relationship is an important opportunity to learn"

Mon, 04 Oct, 2021 - 06:05

Suzi Godson

My boyfriend and I are in our 20s and have been together only a few months. He wants the quickest route to an orgasm. I like to take my time. I don't expect tantric sex, I just want things to slow down. He seems to think sex is an end-of-the-night thing before we go to sleep. How can someone so young be so unadventurous?

We have a tendency to presume that the people we have sex with know what they are doing, but that's not necessarily the case. I don't know how many partners your new boyfriend has had, but it sounds to me as if he is inexperienced. It's a pity that people are not more open about sexual inexperience because from the time that young people become sexually active, every relationship is an important opportunity to learn. The ideal time to start this conversation is in the first flush of a new relationship when everything is rose-tinted. At that point, people are generally eager to please. When you have already been sleeping with someone for six months, guidance can easily be interpreted as criticism.