Sex File: I'm self-conscious in the bedroom

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I've realised I don't know how to be myself in the bedroom. I've been with my partner for eight months and he's great, but I have always felt quite insecure in bed. How can I relax and stop turning sex into a performance?

When you think about sexual confidence you probably think about being assertive, or wildly experimental, but that's not it at all. Sexual confidence is not actually about sex. It is not even about confidence. It is about being comfortable with who you are, knowing what you like and not being afraid to be honest, even if that means admitting that you feel inexperienced, insecure or inadequate.