Ask Audrey: ‘If you are ringing to complain about the robot trees on Patrick Street, press 1'

Sorting out Cork people for ages

Ask Audrey has been sorting Cork people out for ages.

It's gone very ‘O2, O2B, O2B-A Re-bel’ on our WhatsApp group, Douglas Road Stunners Who Can’t Get Over How Much We Love Hurling All of a Sudden. Cliona_Head2ToeinMoncler said she has taken to picturing Patrick Horgan during sex with her Ken, even though she knows he’s from the northside.

We banned her from the group for six weeks, because if you read that a certain way, it sounds like her Ken is from the northside, and we don’t want to take any chances. Fifi_WhiteRangeRover said it’s amazing to see some of the most sophisticated people in Cork going around shouting ‘no fault’ and ‘man before ball’ at each other, when only last week they thought that hurling was just a way to keep the savages in East Cork occupied over the summer.