Ask Audrey: 'The view on the Blackrock Road is Micheál Martin has completely lost it'

Sorting out Cork people for ages

Ask Audrey has been sorting Cork people out for ages.

C’mere, what’s the story with wearing short-shorts on the streets of Cork? The old doll do be glued to Love Island all week and it do be a nightmare trying to dodge all her passive aggressive comments about me getting back to the gym, because the six packs on the prancing gomies this year make me look like your drunk uncle at a wedding. 

I’m on the verge of saying to her, c’mere girl if you want to get a second look off one of them muscle men, maybe cut down on the Ben & Jerry’s when you’re watching them every night. I don’t actually say that because I can’t afford another three months of relationship counselling.