Ask Audrey: What do you get if you cross a badger with a Kerry woman?

"As you’d imagine with someone from Kinsale, she do be well into the sexual experimentation"

Ask Audrey has been sorting Cork people out for ages.

Hello it’s Rosealeen here in Ballydesmond. What do you get if you cross a badger with a Kerry woman? Me. Because that’s what I look like these days with my hair, like someone sitting in the front row of a fashion show in Listowel, ‘oh God, Mairead isn’t your hair gorgeous’ they’d a be saying because they don’t know any better, God help them. Anyway, I was watching the news there during the week and didn’t I see that they are bumping certain categories up the vaccine queue and didn’t that make me think, feck the teachers and the guards, give the vaccine to the hairdressers so that people like myself with healthy sexual urges can get back out there looking for a man without frightening the life out of him with our shocking hairdos. Am I mad, tell me?
— Rosealeen, Ballydesmond

My friend became a hairdresser even though she had the points for medicine. (Cash business. Nice one.) I said, you must be dying to reopen. She said, I’m dreading it, just imagine the conversation. “Going anywhere nice on your holidays?” “Nah girl, just Ireland.” #Bawling.