Sex File: My new boyfriend has performance anxiety 

Couple having problems in bed

I am 30 and have a new boyfriend who is 25. He is fit and physically confident in bed... until it comes to the moment of penetration when he regularly loses his erection. Then, he gets embarrassed and the whole thing ends. What can we do to get past this?

A. The mystery of the disappearing erection is a perennial problem. I'm obliged to advise you to tell your boyfriend that erectile dysfunction (ED) in younger men can be an early warning sign of cardiovascular problems, so he should consider a chat with his GP. However, the fact that he can get and maintain an erection through foreplay means that the issue is much more likely to be caused by performance anxiety.