Alison Curtis: I feel Maia Dunphy's pain over Covid comfort levels

"I have had hundreds of conversations in which people have referred to overly cautious people as annoying or crazy. On the flip side, I have heard anger expressed towards people who are socialising a lot and going to packed stadiums or nightclubs."

Thu, 25 Nov, 2021 - 06:00

RECENTLY writer and broadcaster, and someone I am very fond of, Maia Dunphy, tweeted about having to leave a child’s birthday party because there were too many people there. Her Tweet went like this: “Tom was invited to a party today and I wanted him to go as we’ve had a difficult week. Arrived to find it was a triple-celebration, with FAR too many there. We didn’t hang around. What is wrong with people? Are we the only ones watching the numbers skyrocket?? #covidisstillhere.”

I feel her pain here as I also am not comfortable in larger groups anymore. I am not comfortable because it feels a bit reckless at the moment and also because I am way out of practice being around so many people.

But I feel her frustration as well as she was prepared to attend an event that she considered safe and knew would be enjoyable for her child. But when she turned up the goalposts had been moved and she had to make a call then and there to leave. This I am sure upset her son but if I were put in this position, I would have felt embarrassed to be the one “with the problem”.

I would have been so stressed trying to leave and feel I was being impolite. When in reality I would be doing nothing wrong by leaving and neither did Maia.

One challenging outcome from Covid and the 20 months of varying restrictions is for us as a group to learn to respect other people’s comfort levels.

I have had hundreds of conversations in which people have referred to overly cautious people as annoying or crazy. On the flip side, I have heard anger expressed towards people who are socialising a lot and going to packed stadiums or nightclubs.

I believe that as long as people are doing their best to live within the current restrictions, whatever they may be, it is only a waste of energy to get mad or frustrated with the behaviour of others, which admittedly is hard at times.

However, in Maia’s case, it gets complicated. Obviously, the hosts saw nothing wrong with changing it to a multiple celebration, and without knowing the finer details maybe all three children are in the same class. But the variable here is that you would be introducing a number of adults to the mix, expanding numbers and creating an increased chance of spreading Covid.

We are all fatigued at this stage and especially in recent days with case numbers increasing and talk of the possibility of restrictions.

We have to do our best to not create potentially careless scenarios and we must also respect the comfort levels of our friends and family.

If you are hosting a dinner party don’t tack on another five or six people at the last minute. We would all love to be at massive house parties again, even us 40-somethings, but what happens here is you put people in the position of having to leave like Maia did or decline all together. You are making them make an uncomfortable choice.

Every single one of us has missed out on big celebrations, weddings, and birthdays. Going to a small and safe birthday party is something we can provide for kids at the moment and something that is really wonderful to bring back into their lives. By making them massive events we are taking a risk we don’t need.

I feel for everyone and I truly believe most people are doing their best. But the one thing we can all do is mind one another and don’t judge how people are feeling about socialising during these uncertain times.

Alison Curtis: I think children should wear masks in the classroom