Cormac MacConnell: Sharpen your swords for season of goodwill

Merry Christmas to all of you. Enjoy it more fully than you have ever celebrated Christmas before. Savour every minute and second. Make the most of every jingle and jangle of it. Start the celebrations early and keep them going pell mell through the 12 traditional days of the season.

Yours and mine and Uncle Tom Cobley and all. I extract this dire information from the third and sadly final edition of Old MacConnell’s Almanack, available exclusively only in this space.

I can assure you all that my researchers have a 99% accuracy level to-date and tell the truth at all times, like myself. I briefly scanned the emerald green production of my rival Old Moore earlier this week and it was the same as ever.