Columns - Irish Examiner

Aida Austin

‘Silence falls, then a strange staccato sound fills the room’

HOME, 7pm, up in the cabin and our architect has just left. My husband and I are sitting at the kitchen table, scrutinising three sets of floor-plans.

Sat, 24 Oct, 2015

"I bet you couldn't even do a day of the 5:2 diet"

MONDAY night, and I’ve been summoned down from the cabin. It is dinner time and my husband has cooked.

Sat, 17 Oct, 2015

"I think I might get an early night, cut the fasting day short"

WEDNESDAY evening, home, and it would seem my husband has just discovered the 5:2 diet. 

Sat, 10 Oct, 2015

"He reads with a bunched-up mouth: his bank-statement face"

IT’S 6.30pm, Thursday, and my husband and I are yawning at each other across the kitchen table.

Sat, 03 Oct, 2015

’Customer service is built on insult and short shrift’

TUESDAY, 1pm. 

Sat, 26 Sep, 2015

"Ninety-nine percent of the time you’re not competitive"

Sligo, Saturday, early afternoon. My sister and I are in the polytunnel, preparing our entries for the Boyle Summer Show, which takes place tomorrow at midday.

Sat, 19 Sep, 2015

Being competitive about the weirdest things

Wednesday, 3 pm, Gort. We are driving up to visit my sister in Sligo, and in keeping with time-honoured tradition, the sky suddenly drops out of its customary high position and lands on the bonnet.

Sat, 12 Sep, 2015

Mark Hayes: ’Just jump out and hit the ground at 10mph’

So there I was, Sunday night, somewhere in the Hollywood Hills, about three in the morn, drunk as a skunk, debating whether or not to jump out of this moving car.

Sat, 29 Aug, 2015

’I would like to get into your car without feeling like Velma’

FRIDAY, 10pm, and I’m in Cork Airport, anticipating the moment of my sister’s arrival from London with the feeling that this wonderful moment cannot come quickly enough.

Sat, 22 Aug, 2015

’I think, Mrs Beeton could not have been more formidable’

Home, 5pm – and we have just finished renovating my studio’s modest kitchen. 

Sat, 15 Aug, 2015