Mark Hayes: ’Just jump out and hit the ground at 10mph’

So there I was, Sunday night, somewhere in the Hollywood Hills, about three in the morn, drunk as a skunk, debating whether or not to jump out of this moving car.

My buddy in the passenger seat, let’s call him Johnny, was debating whether to do the same, while my buddy next to me in the back seat, let’s call him Donald, was busy pleading with the driver to pull over.

I use the term ‘buddy’ loosely but that’s what people do in LA.