Columns - Irish Examiner

Aida Austin

I’m not even taking parent plants. I’m just re-homing their babies

10am Saturday. I’m about to wake my husband in order to put to him my plans for the day. Best to do this with fresh coffee; I’m expecting an oppositional response.

Sat, 08 Apr, 2017

We live in a town now, so we can’t pass the filth of the car off as country dirt

8pm. My brother and mother are flying from London to see our new home tomorrow. I’m Whatsapping them photographic evidence of refurbishments to set their minds at rest.

Sat, 01 Apr, 2017

I’m unable to decide if these trousers are highly amusing or chic

8pm. My husband and I are running inexcusably late for a dinner party; he’s half-in, half-out of a pair of crumpled trousers in one bedroom, while I’m half-in, half-out of a barely-worn pair in another.

Sat, 25 Mar, 2017

You can’t cancel a precious reunion like this because of extreme agony

London. 4 pm. I’m on my way to meet James, the man I lived with before I met my husband.

Sat, 18 Mar, 2017

All I can do is sit still like a good girl and follow my sister’s dos and don’ts

I am in my London sister’s flat, on my best behaviour after doing handstands in her bedroom.

Sat, 11 Mar, 2017

My brain goes buzzy when I have to push it into understanding things it doesn’t want to learn

I am in the Victoria and Albert museum with my brother who is just back from Kabul. 

Sat, 04 Mar, 2017

"Stay out of my f***ing bed,” and, “don’t go near my bloody Acqua di Parma”

11. 30. I’ve just arrived in England, where I’m staying with my sister for three nights.

Sat, 25 Feb, 2017

I’m not sure having kids is for me, he says, and it’s not just the worry side

I’m in neurology outpatients. Just a routine follow-up. 

Sat, 18 Feb, 2017

My days of sleeping on un-ironed pillowcases are over too

My mother is coming to visit us in our new house. She is determined to stay in a local hotel. The one with the nice marmalade.

Sat, 11 Feb, 2017

I didn’t fancy the idea of my hormones being turned upside down

11a.m Sunday. My daughter has spent the past two weeks writing a research proposal on gender sex-typing. Now, the morning after its completion, she is sitting on the sofa, liberated.

Sat, 04 Feb, 2017