We live in a town now, so we can’t pass the filth of the car off as country dirt

8pm. My brother and mother are flying from London to see our new home tomorrow. I’m Whatsapping them photographic evidence of refurbishments to set their minds at rest.

My brother appreciates the two new textiles, he says, and it’s nice to see the stone bust with flower-crown in a new setting but he wants less of the aesthetics and more of the hard stuff.

I would send him a photograph of the heating system, but that means going outside in the rain.