'It's the K-word, isn't it — confidence': Our guide to the year in guff

These are the standout quotes from the world of punditry in 2019...

Mark Lawrenson figured out Pep: “If you can make chances against Man City, you’ll always have a chance to score.”

The old story of the Brazilian legend with one leg shorter than the other has been told in words more carefully chosen than Sam Matterface’s: “Garrincha had 7cm between his legs.”

Adrian Durham paid tribute to the vocal technique of Jurgen Klopp: “He lets his words do the talking.”

It was unclear which parts of the Zurich pitch were to Glenn Whelan’s satisfaction: “It was heavy, especially down the sides and in the middle.”

Despite Ireland reverting to type under Mick McCarthy, Damien Delaney slapped a preservation order: “You can’t shoot a leopard for having spots.”

Darren Fletcher put his foot in it: “It’s a big moment for Adrian, who has stepped into those gigantic gloves of Allison.”

Niall Quinn shone a light on female officials at the Super Cup: “There’s reward for ladies at the end of the tunnel.”

Danny Murphy’s law: “They need fresh legs, at least a couple…”

Gary Breen was unimpressed with the softly-softly approach of Arsenal’s interim manager: “No reaction from Ljungberg to get up and castrate his players.”

Alvin Martin used his experience: “I think young players Adrian, they’re full of youthfulness.”

Ally McCoist predicted: “I just think the inevitable is going to happen.”

Jamie O’Hara noticed a lack of senseless destruction from Manchester United: “They haven’t really been doing too much. They haven’t been blowing up any trees.”

Micky Gray did some investigative work: “Spurs have had a history in the past...”

Jeff Stelling put his brief flirtation with GAA commentary long behind him: “Padraig Amond could have been a Gaelic footballer but he chose the round ball instead.”

Lee McCullough provided food for thought on Rangers’ spending: “The money they are hemorrhaging is gastronomical.”

Colin Moffat feared the former Dundalk man’s career has gone off the boil: “Andy Boyle is treading hot water.”

Jermaine Jenas witnessed some imaginary dribbling: “How good is Eden Hazard? He’s going past players who aren’t even there...”

Steve McManaman recalibrated Everton’s compass: “Playing it back to Pickford isn’t way forward.”

Tim Cahill was on fire: “Mane is taking on the mantelpiece while Salah isn’t scoring.”

Mark Lawrenson knew the limits: “He’s been consistently eight-point-five or nine out of 10. You literally couldn’t ask for more.”

All credit to Stuart Pearce: “He’s got enough credit in the tank.”

George Hamilton on Juventus’ Champions League progression: “The Old Lady of Turin hitches up her skirt and gets on with the job.”

Keith Andrews lambasted Real Madrid for letting... “... Ajax run an absolute muck.”

Tim Sherwood saw Jordan Pickford reap what he sowed: “Karma has come back to shoot him.”

Craig Ramage reckoned Leeds’ won’t be too concerned with the ‘Spygate’ fine: “Two hundred grand, tip of the ocean for them…”

Liam Rosenior investigated: “When Brentford can keep clean sheets they are a very difficult team to beat.”

Nothing much to see at Luton, reckoned Mick Harford: “The ups and downs of this football club are bigger than none.”

Not alone does Harry Kane have to carry Spurs on his back but according to Micky Gray... “He’s an old man on young shoulders.”

Damien Duffer knows how fast a bone can get around: “Rashford is like a dog chasing a bone.”

Ray Parlour reflected on a particularly unfortunate day in Arsenal’s colours: “I once scored a hat-trick in a 4-2 defeat.”

Charlie Nicholas encapsulated Arsenal’s existential crisis: “We are where we belong to be…”

Alvin Martin on the Dons’ resurrection: “Wimbledon have risen from the phoenix.”

Ian Abrahams found a third way: “He’s gone down. Is it a penalty, is it not a penalty, or is it neither?”

Neal Ardley contorted in despair: “Unfortunately our soft underbelly reared its ugly head.”

Paul Lambert won’t dress up Ipswich’s record: “That’s the reality. I won’t hide behind any rocks or smoking jackets.”

An MUTV return for Big Ron spelt trouble: “It’s the K-word, isn’t it — confidence.”

Jamie Carragher put his foot in it: “Virgil van Dijk is probably a shoehorn for player of the year.”

Ray Parlour is a one-off: “This is an isolated incident but it’s happening week in, week out.”

Talksport summed up the Declan Rice affair best: “Rice has described the feeling of being called up by England as indescribable...”