TERRACE TALK: Man United - The best derby defeat we could have hoped for

About half an hour into Saturday’s derby, touted as the most watched, globally, of all time thanks to its tiresome Pep ’n‘ Jose Show element, I suspect I wasn’t alone in hoping for some sort of Bournemouth-style incident to occur.

You may recall the comical ‘bomb scare’ in the spring that caused Old Trafford to be emptied after various clowns left a fake device in a toilet. Sadly, on Saturday, the clowns appeared to be on the pitch and in red shirts.

The only fake bomb in view was Jose himself, the supposedly explosive catalyst of Manchester United, momentarily exposed as a damp squib by his mistaken selections and failure to react to the traps set by Professor Pep.