Time to get real with scourge of fakers

“CAUSE in your mind it’s lyin’ season,” funkster Alexander O’Neal once insisted, by way of alleging that his baby was, to his mind at least, a fake.

It’s a sentiment that sports fans of all codes have often shared since.

Experience, cleverness, gamesmanship, cheating, simulation, faking… whatever you like to call it, it was in the spotlight this week.

There I was, raising another can of whey protein to toast Ireland’s success in the egg-chasing, when I heard Aussie boofhead — I’m gradually getting into the World Cup lingo — Tim Horan suggest there had been some artificial plants in the garden of Eden Park.

“Ireland had a deliberate plan to fake injuries each time there was a breakdown in play last Saturday, so they could slow the game down and frustrate the Wallabies.”

Boo hoo! But then, on the other hand, you had Darragh O’Shea bemoaning Kerry naivety that saw nobody “go down with an injury” in the aftermath of Kevin McManamon’s goal last Sunday afternoon. It seems the fake has gained widespread acceptance as legal tender.

Soccer players, of course, have long been the worst offenders in this tiresome area. And it’s with the serial simulators in mind that we welcome a fine example set by the NFL this week, as the league looks to get tough with fakers. “All those suspected of being involved in faking injuries will be summoned promptly to this office,” an NFL memo barked.

“Those found to be violators will be subject to appropriate disciplinary action for conduct detrimental to the game. We are determined to take all necessary steps to ensure that it does not become an issue.”

FIFA, UEFA, Premier League & Co take note. Alexander will be chuffed. “The game is through and girl, you’re busted…”