With friendlies like this ...

COMEDIAN Gary Cooke has a nice line in making Alex Ferguson’s utterances sound even more indecipherable than the real thing. Not that Fergie needs much help.

To the casual listener, his latest comments about friendlies might suggest that the great man is anxious to maximise the benefits for international teams. Sometimes you don’t get a good crowd and the opposition is not always the best, he said. Then you have the problem of players pulling out, he noted.

Training camps are better, he concluded. Why, Darren Fletcher had one with Scotland and he said all the players really enjoyed it.

For those troubled by Fergie’s often impenetrable brogue, a quick translation: come back Ryan, Rio and Ronaldo — your club needs you.