Soccer: Inept Murphy sparks attack of the Fawltys

SO much for chilling out! I’m afraid your humble scribe let himself down rather badly at The Riverside.

As a rare Liverpool attack broke down with arguably the worst pass I've ever seen (from Murphy, if you're curious) I began attacking the long-since-vacated seat in front of me a rolled up magazine I'd bought for the tedious journey to the frozen North East.

Think Basil Fawlty, think branch, think stalled car. It gave my bewildered neighbours a good laugh, anyway.