Woodward packs a Lions punch

THIS WEEKEND sees the long-awaited return of the Heineken Cup, but before we get into all that, did you SEE the Lions management team selected for next summer’s tour to New Zealand?

There was 26 of them named yesterday, that’s right ... 26 - countries have been annexed with less.

This enormous group includes two managers, seven specialist coaches, a lawyer, a chef, two doctors, three physiotherapists and a masseur. The partridge in a pear tree was unavailable for comment yesterday but is said to be very upset at his omission.

Throw in a butcher, a baker and candlestick maker and you could start your own village.

With merchandising so prominent these days, you may even see a computer game out for Christmas, The SIMS (Lions tour 2005).

Clive Woodward leads the invasion so we should not be surprised that his backroom team is seriously OTT. For example, Bill Beaumont has the role of tour manager but Louise Ramsay is also travelling as team manager, to do what is not clear.

Presumably, Louise won’t have to get too down and dirty because a chap by the name of Dave Tennison is going as “kit technician”.

To paraphrase a well-known song ... in Cork he’d be known as a bagman.

With all these ‘experts’, there is a real danger of paralysis by analysis, although the inclusion of ex-referee David McHugh as an adviser on refereeing looks like a sensible move.

Of real concern is the policy of two coaching teams split between the weekend and midweek sides. The weekend, or Test side, will be run by Andy Robinson, Eddie O’Sullivan and Phil Larder, while the ‘dirt-trekkers’ will be coached by Ian McGeechan, Gareth Jenkins and Mike Ford.

And Woodward?

He will amble around Napoleonically in a baseball cap, hands clasped behind his back, overseeing the whole operation.

It seems the harsh lessons of the 2001 tour to Australia have not been learned. On that occasion, Graham Henry presided over an unhappy camp with many players knowing early on that they would not be figuring in the first team. Ultimately, it cost the Lions the series but it seems what goes on tour stays on tour, for there is an even greater likelihood of disgruntled players on this occasion.

Touring is all about unity. In a country where rugby is the national obsession, the Lions will be subjected to all manner of psychological abuse for seven weeks and in that hostile scenario an ‘us against them’ policy is always the best one. You don’t divide the camp, yet that is what Woodward is planning, he is creating cliques from the off and disharmony in the camp is something the All Blacks will undoubtedly exploit.

Unlike the legendary Lions tours of the past, this has all the makings of a grim exercise, a trait of the professional era. There will be no chandelier-swinging on this trip.

Woodward is adopting the approach that won him the World Cup with England last year and if it succeeds, he will be justified. It’s a big if.

Incidentally, before we leave the topic, it is interesting to note the absence of Southern Hemisphere expertise in the coaching party. This is a strictly Best of British (and Irish) selection, something which is to be applauded, although part of me would love to have seen Matt Williams baffle the Kiwis with his bizarre oratory or observe how Warren Gatland would have got on with some former colleagues.

So, with the management team getting measured for blazers, we get the player auditions underway with the first round of Heineken Cup matches.

For an Irish point of view, it is reasonable to expect a hat-trick of victories this weekend, although Ulster have the most difficult task tonight, facing Cardiff in Ravenhill.

Mark McCall has had a tough start to his tenure as Ulster coach, not helped by an injury list as long as one of Davy Tweed’s arms. His policy of bringing through young local talent is laudable and, after yet again being drawn in the toughest group, one hopes that home advantage will be enough to see the Ulstermen home tonight. It should be.

Leinster, with their fantasy football back line, will be too good for Treviso in Italy but it won’t be the cakewalk many expect.

Leinster have rarely convinced away from home and grinding out a victory tomorrow will be important psychologically before tougher assignments against Bath and Bourgoin.

One can’t help but feel sorry for Felipe Contepomi, who must be wondering if he was right to cross the Irish sea last year. First there was the registration bungling that cost him Heineken Cup rugby last season and then, just as he was readying himself for a protracted run in Leinster’s problematic number 10 shirt, they bring in a Kiwi out-half, David Holwell, and Contepomi is benched. Don’t cry for me Argentina indeed.

And Munster? Well, although last season’s Wasps semi-final still retains a ‘don’t mention the war’ status down south, there is an air of optimism among the Munster team and their fans. Christian Cullen’s running this season is reminiscent of his smooth operating in the late 1990s and the Munster backs definitely have a more devilish look to them.

Harlequins will traipse leaden-footed into Thomond Park tomorrow with little prospect of victory and a 20-15 win would get Munster’s campaign off to a nice start.

However, the news that Dewi Morris, a man with a Babs Keating-esque knack for picking the wrong horse, has tipped Munster for the title will have been greeted with dismay by the superstitious hordes down south.

All we can do is hope the Sky Sports pundit is right on this occasion and give thanks he is not travelling to New Zealand next summer as Clive’s tipping analyst.