TOULOUSE and France centre Florian Fritz believes Gordon D’Arcy — and not Brian O’Driscoll — is the key man in Leinster’s acclaimed backline.

“HOW do you explain this frivolous spending during a recession?” demands one of the characters of our eponymous hero early in Arthur (12A), in a bid to deflect audience resentment at the sight of Russell Brand playing a playboy billionaire who wastes thousands of dollars at every hand’s turn.

She makes Indiana Jones look like a lazy wimp, so hats off to the wonderful Adele and her extraordinary adventures … of which there are a lot, and while we’re mentioning hats there are a lot of them too, all gloriously flambouyant.

NEWCASTLE have been handed a one-year ban from European competition, suspended for five years, and fined €25,000 after pleading guilty to a charge of misconduct at a European Rugby Cup disciplinary hearing in Dublin yesterday.

BROCK JAMES is living proof that rugby players are made of sterner stuff mentally, as well as physically.

THE chief executive of Connacht Rugby Gerry Kelly said he is delighted their Amlin Challenge Cup semi-final against Toulon will be accommodated in the Sportsground.

Connacht secured a home semi-final in the Amlin Challenge Cup with a tremendous last-quarter fight-back against Bourgoin in brilliant sunshine at the Sportsground.

MICHAEL BRADLEY’S “strongest” squad in his seven year tenure at Connacht are in confident mood ahead of today’s European quarter-final against French visitors Bourgoin.

MICHAEL BRADLEY has held up young wing Fionn Carr as the perfect example why Connacht should be allowed continue play a key role in Irish provincial rugby.

CONNACHT coach Michael Bradley expects to know the extent of the knee injury picked up by outside centre Niva Ta’auso later today but he is confident the Samoan will be fit for the Amlin Challenge Cup quarter-final next month.

IT’S 25 years since Ireland entered the RBS Six Nations as reigning champions, and all of 62 years since they defended a Grand Slam.

EVENTUALLY, his native Limerick will probably tug enough at Sean Cronin’s heart strings to draw him back to Munster, but for the next season at least he is committed to the cause of Connacht rugby.

Sale Sharks boss Kingsley Jones is ready for “a massive game” against French giants Toulouse tomorrow when his team pursue a European consolation prize.

NORTHAMPTON were crowned Challenge Cup champions after surviving a ferocious assault from French bruisers Bourgoin at Twickenham Stoop last night.

Northampton 15 Bourgoin 3

Northampton boss Jim Mallinder has challenged the Saints to transform a “good season” into a successful campaign by landing the European Challenge Cup.

NORTHAMPTON captain Bruce Reihana has warned Bourgoin the Saints’ “killer instinct” will be razor sharp in tonight’s European Challenge Cup final at The Stoop.

GORDON D’ARCY’s slim Lions prospects were eliminated yesterday when head coach Ian McGeechan confirmed he would not be calling up a replacement for the injured Tom Shanklin.

DEAN RICHARDS fears London Irish could be flattened by the Leicester juggernaut in Saturday’s Guinness Premiership final.

ENGLAND’s RFU will submit a government-backed bid to stage the 2015 World Cup. Twickenham, Wembley, Old Trafford and Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium are set to be included as venues in the RFU’s blueprint.

Bourgoin have written to European rugby’s governing body requesting the date and venue of their European Challenge Cup final against Northampton be changed.

Bourgoin 22 Worcester 11

LEADING referee, Nigel Owens, will take charge of the all-Ireland Heineken Cup semi-final between Munster and Leinster at Croke Park on May 2.

Perpignan’s New Zealand fly-half Dan Carter will miss Saturday’s make-or-break Heineken Cup match against the Ospreys after being told to rest for a week.

THE sight of French opposition this week is likely to spark one or two conflicting memories for Brian Blaney as Castres arrive in Dublin to take on Leinster in Pool Two.

SARACENS continued the English romp through the European Challenge Cup with a clinical 53-3 win over French side Mont de Marsan at Vicarage Road yesterday.

WHEN HE arrived, the first cameo only painted a fragment of the complete Lifeimi Mafi.

FRANCE head coach Marc Lievremont’s revolving door policy continued yesterday when he named three uncapped players in his starting XV for Sunday’s RBS Six Nations Championship clash with Italy.

Bourgoin 21 Ospreys 28

Ospreys 32 Gloucester 15

Ulster 25 Bourgoin 24

Gloucester 51 Bourgoin 27

ANOTHER long, hard night at the office for Ulster and another defeat.

Dean Ryan has major injury concerns ahead of next weekend’s return game against Bourgoin in pool two of the Heineken Cup.

Bourgoin 7 Gloucester 31

Ospreys 48 Ulster 17

GLOUCESTER boss Dean Ryan accepts his team will head into “a confrontational environment” when they tackle Heineken Cup hosts Bourgoin tonight.

FIVE tries, four of them deliciously created, produced the all-important bonus point for Munster in the somewhat surreal surroundings of Thomond Park yesterday.

Gloucester 26 Ospreys 18

Bourgoin 24 Ulster 17

Gloucester 26 Ospreys 18

Bourgoin 24 Ulster 17

Ospreys 22 Bourgoin 15

THE 13th season of Heineken Cup rugby kicks off tonight — so isn’t it about time the Welsh and Scots turned up?