Irish Hockey International opens up about mental health
Gleghorne wrote about his history dating back to when he was just eight years old: “I didn’t really understand the feelings I had at the time as I wasn’t fully aware of what was “normal” and what wasn’t. Then when I reached my early teens, I knew the way I felt wasn’t right but I was too scared to say anything to anyone. Despite having a network of close friends and a loving family around me, I just couldn’t bring myself to speak to anyone about it.”
Having only sought help in January 2014 the 130-cap hockey player had mixed feelings about making a public post while still a player, his initial instinct was to wait until he had retired from playing.
“I thought it would be “easier” to do it then. Finally I decided that this was a selfish attitude to take. Someone somewhere might be really struggling with mental health issues but I wanted to wait because it would be “easier” for me. After much consideration I have decided to share this now.”
The turning point for Gleghorne came when he was 26:
“My thoughts of self-harm and suicide seemed to have gotten progressively worse and worse since childhood. In my head it was just going to keep getting worse. One day, I had enough and I decided I was finally going to end the pain. I went to visit the cemetery where my mother (who passed away when I was 16) was buried. As I looked at my mother’s grave it brought back memories of how hard she battled against cancer, how she just refused to give up. With tears in my eyes, I decided that I wasn’t going to give up either. I went home and sent myself an email to remind me to make an appointment with my doctor the next morning. I view that moment as the defining moment in my life (so far). I went to my Doctor in January 2014. At 26 years old I finally went for help for something I had struggled with since I was a child. This was the first step in getting help and I was referred for appropriate treatment.”
His lengthy posting acknowledges how difficult his path has been, and continues to be, but also highlights how important seeking treatment is. He is not specific about his mental illness as he says:”I believe mental health issues are so broad I don’t want to make this about a particular disorder or disorders. I want to reassure that anyone reading this who feels they may be suffering from any type of mental illness, you are not alone, there are other people struggling just as you are. You can get help, it’s not always easy but it will be worth it.”
If you are affected by anything outlined above, or in Paul Gleghorne’s blog posting please visit:
http://www.yourmentalhealth.ie/ or http://www.aware.ie
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