Your neighbours sticking six fingers up to your face for starters — then making rude gestures with the other hand.
Some Reds keep claiming that one of our opponents will get a similar thrashing soon but they’ve gone a bit quiet after our extraordinary wastefulness on Saturday.
The Evra row unsurprisingly went a little weird. Hard to see it going any further without evidence but this is United-Liverpool, where the psychodrama never stops.
In a multi-spin world — where Ferguson obeys the FA, Suarez doesn’t dive and Evra’s behaviour is never obnoxious — one can often feel like a child surrounded by naked emperors.
In the absence of proof, if Suarez says he wants to get on with his game that silence will speak volumes to those who hear what they want. If he pursues it, that’ll be a huge distraction.
It still comes as a shock that there are people in the world who aren’t outraged by racism or by being labelled racist. Sadly I think they’re in the majority.
As for Ferguson stigmatising “the boy Suarez diving everywhere”, we could get into a lather over his extraordinary hypocrisy or discuss it like adults and wonder whether a potential future great needs to take a closer look at himself.
That would be heresy at Anfield of course, where it was perceived that Peter Walton had received instructions from his lordship and thus gave Suarez absolutely nothing. But does he need anything though? There were enough twists and turns from ‘the boy’ reminiscent of Dalglish at his peak to have won the game twice.
There was one famous Kenny trick from the 80s where he simply turned 180 degrees and sent two Spurs defenders running towards Stanley Park. Suarez did exactly that to Norwich.
On another day he could have had four goals. There have unfortunately been too many days like this.
It’s almost as if he’s dazzling himself with his trickery; “Wow! Did everyone see that? That. Was. Ace! Oh, what? I’m supposed to stick it in the net now? You want the moon on a stick, you lot”.
Things change. Ronaldo and Messi weren’t deadly in their youth but developed an ice-cold brain in such excitable moments, where time crawls for them and nobody else. Torres did it too. Obviously it would be just peachy if someone else in the team could pitch in.
Rafa proved Gerrard’s talent is wasted playing so deep; if the player or his current manager is trying to prove Benitez wrong they are wasting precious time.
Downing is no use on the right either. He had one good run and shot on day one but nothing since. It accommodated Bellamy, but once he’d run out of steam Carroll could have come on and Downing switched to his proper position.
When Gerrard did eventually deliver a beauty, the lummox headed it wide anyway. It all has an unsettling Rafa/Keane feel to it, a tangible lack of faith not without reason.
Only difference is Robbie cost less and we got most of it back.
There was some fearful muttering when the final whistle blew, some of it focused on the manager. Ridiculously early days obviously, but 12 goals in nine games is no kind of reward for the football we’ve played thus far.
Which will vanish first; the performances or the profligacy? It’s a concern.