‘Square pegs in round holes’ culture must end

HEAVEN or hell, and nothing in between. Or so you would think. Those who insisted on getting carried away at the Bridge were probably the same people howling “Wigan? WIGAN?!?” on Saturday night.

Short memories. Remember how you felt when the whistle blew at the end of the derby and the jubilant away end serenaded us with “going down” — and let us also take a brief moment to ponder on that — and untwist your knickers real quick.

Dalglish was half right about Internationals depriving us of both players and energy.

It’s been a quandary for two or three years, and won’t be solved by a few five-a-sides in training.

The usual retort is “everyone else gets on with it”. True; if Rooney can elevate that pendulous carcass in the 80th minute of a fierce derby, our lads should at least be able to turn up for the second-half.

With the opulent splendour of the Europa League almost upon us again it’s something we need to find a short-term solution to. Roy qualified by pretty much playing the second string for those magical Thursday nights. God knows how; the opposition did not seem so stiff, and yet one glance at the Serie A table shows Napoli aren’t exactly pushovers.

Tomorrow night will tell us more about whether we can push on in that competition or regard it as a burden. It’d be a hell of a final! Beating Chelsea made the eternally chirpy utter some nonsense about “fourth place” but Wigan soon popped that bubble, so Dalglish may conclude a trophy’s a trophy and settle for saving Premiership face.

We’ve finished top 8 for 48 successive years, which I’ll claim as a record because I’m not dusting off the record books for Arsenal and Everton and know there’s no point in checking United’s. It would be nice to keep it going, even though straw gives me a hand rash.

We’re still fragile. A few players don’t make the team and another ‘trots’ off after 50 minutes (the one who’s scoring all the goals, no less) and suddenly we’re ragged as hell and the opposition swarm all over us.

Football’s about overcoming adversity. When male linesmen are seemingly on a mission to make Sian Massey look even better, you’ve just got to dig in and keep going. For recent games I sat at a level where you notice how much these people screw up. It’s unbelievable really, all bias aside.

Which is easier said than done. They didn’t see Johnson’s barge on Ivanovic and I thought that hilarious.

The performance of players who did show up left something to be desired. Lucas always reminds me of a watermark; at our peak in 2009 he was hardly picked and barely noticeable. Once we sank he emerged as one of our better players.

He’d received effusive praise after Chelsea, and stats were manipulated to prove him worthy of it. He played like he’d heard one too many compliments and was erratic all afternoon.

In fairness he wasn’t helped by Kenny’s strict adherence to his 1990 glory days by selecting a full back in midfield.

Aurelio’s no Venison though. Once Jovanovic sloshed on with strict instructions to keep possession just once (oooooo, so close), it was remarkable we weren’t buried.

Instead we pushed hard for a winner and Suarez was unfortunate. There was something of T****s in the way he ghosted past a defender and curled the ball goalwards. Well, postwards.

After Aurelio and Maxi satellited their free kicks he got his chance and almost won the game. Wigan kept dragging him down then gesticulating menacingly — that old trick — yet the referee seemed happy to give free kicks, if not cards.

The kid’s made a good start, he shouldn’t have to be carrying the side so early. He also shouldn’t have to put up with a Depeche Mode song. Eurrrgh.

We must wait for the summer before the real transfer and fitness work is done. There’s some awful flotsam in this squad, emphasising the limbo we’re in.

Look at the eleven that finished on Saturday. Square pegs in round holes everywhere. The days of buying players and wondering where to crowbar them in must end. Until such time we muddle along whilst our old rivals take on the world’s best, winning leagues and cups. Patience is a virtue usually in short supply around L4, and hoping others stop United in the league and all three in Europe is always unpalatable.

We’re told class is permanent. Might as well try to show some. Good luck Arsenal……