Tune into those Qatar rumours

I WAS planning to give God some stick today, given that he is to blame for sending the weather that has cancelled two eagerly-awaited away days within a fortnight, but I daresay it’d be safer to pillory Chelsea instead (which, as we all know, is Satan’s chosen team).

The postponement decision taken by the sinister cabal of Chelsea officials, Chelsea-supporting police and Chelsea-elected councillors on Saturday stunk worse than Heathrow’s departure halls.

Red lads on Fulham Broadway at that very moment of decision were phoning into us, bemused, as they reported seeing the snow was melting fast and the forecast was decent. Sure enough, at 4pm on Sunday, the roads and pavements were completely clear — and, of course, both shopping and other sporting fixtures went ahead unmolested all weekend in west London.

Sunday did at least bring some glimmer of good news, however, in the shape of the Sunday Mirror’s so-called ‘world exclusive’ announcing an imminent bid for United from the Qatari royals: price tag — £1.5bn (€1.7bn) sterling.

This capped a week of spreading rumours about the Arabs and the Glazers which had initially started to bubble up after the strange financial notice issued on November 22 which signified the Gimps were preparing to issue new shares in their company. “To whom?” was the obvious question. No reply has been forthcoming.

For those who haven’t been paying that close attention, you may appreciate a quick recap as to why we shouldn’t be dismissing these Qatari stories out of hand. The fanzine Red Issue has run a dozen tales about the Qataris and United over the past five years for the simplest of reasons: we know for a fact they were interested in us in 2004-5, when both deal-maker Keith Harris and Shareholders United were in their orbit before Cubic Expression sold up.

Hefty natural gas revenues needed investing, and a leisure industry strategy was thus developed: football was deemed an ideal fit, especially in the eyes of the more publicity-friendly younger members of their royal family. Abu Dhabi and Dubai’s moves towards the English game in recent years have reinforced their desire, as the non-UAE Gulf states are very competitive with their more famous neighbours; and Qatar’s recent investments in Malaga FC and Barca, together with an under-reported attempt to buy into Paris St Germain last week, have been the fruits of this germinating interest. Equally germane: Red Issue revealed last spring the Qataris had already made a tentative approach about a £1.25bn (€1.46bn) bid in November 2008, and we also recently learned from an excellent senior Murdoch empire source they came close to bidding in 2007 as well.

BUT is it a full-on takeover that they are now after? The most persistent current rumour is that they are going to secure a mere stake in United — of between 9 and 12%, depending on who you believe — in exchange for the financing of the Glazers’ Payment in Kind repayment last November. Whilst this would certainly leave open the option of springboarding towards a takeover, it obviously wouldn’t be mandatory (though you do wonder what would be the point of a non-dividend bearing stake: there’d have to be something else in it for them).

Their recent activity has, after all, been similarly partial: they have only done a shirt deal with Barca, not bought the club; and they were only after a “large chunk” of PSG, not total control. And whilst it is true that they are in full control of Malaga FC, they are also keen to point out that this was a personal purchase by the prince involved, not a serious Qatar Holdings strategic investment. Or that’s what they are telling curious UEFA sniffers and hacks, anyway.

Will it happen? I can’t quite believe it. But at least I know what to answer when people ask me what I want for Christmas...