Doom and gloom still pervades for ‘crap invincibles’

AH, remember the Good Old Days, when to be a relatively well-informed citizen and football fan didn’t require a first class economics degree?

As I sit on a Tuesday afternoon, I am being flooded with ‘breaking news’ information about a) the potential collapse of the eurozone and b) the baffling financial announcements from the Death Star (aka the Glazers’ HQ).

I idly wonder: by the time I press ‘Send’ on this, should I be contemplating the imminent destruction of both the Irish economy and MUFC? In which case, I suspect the market for “facetious United natter targeted towards Irish readers with disposable media-spend” will have suddenly shrunk somewhat.

So let’s do what so many have infamously done for the past few years during the boom years in both Dublin and Old Trafford; ignore it all, and carry on as if there wasn’t a giant Axe Of Nemesis swinging above all our heads.

Let me introduce you to a marvellous new appellation for the current United team, coined by my colleague John on the Red Issue website with a nod towards the 2004 Arsenal: we are ‘The Crap Invincibles’. ! Twenty-six games unbeaten is a phenomenal achievement in any era, yet it’s one which is apparently garnering us no credit.

The reason for that was evident in the first 80 minutes at Villa Park, widely recognised by Reds watching as a new nadir in our gentle yet unmistakable post-2008 decline.

Of course, I took some succour in seeing one of my favourites, Macheda, riding to the rescue in brilliant fashion once more, but overall no Red can have been heartened by their Brummie afternoon. The very best you can say is that some kind of fighting spirit is still intact. But you could say the same of Blackburn, West Brom or Stoke too: United fans have never accepted that mere ‘willing’ is enough.

Moreover, Berbatov suddenly plunging back into his old horror-show mode these past three weeks could not have come at a worse time with the absence of Rooney, although we ‘philes do resent the alacrity with which people have reattached him as a scapegoat, just weeks after largely admitting they owed him an apology.

Old hands may recall that form such as ours — ‘winning at home whilst drawing away’ — was all Matt Busby ever asked of his teams; indeed, it was he who first formulated that maxim as a recipe for championships. That, however, was in the era of two points for a win. United’s point percentage rate would, in the old 42-game division, have led to a healthy final tally of 60 points, enough to win the title more seasons than not.

Under three for a win, however, every away-day draw is treated as tantamount to a defeat. What was doubly aggravating was that Saturday soon also turned into a failure to capitalise on Chelsea’s subsequent Sunday calamity. You may recall I mentioned last week that I thought Chelsea had their “flaws exposed” at Anfield, which then drew some derisive e-mails. Now they may see what I meant.

I’ll thus try another punt; I believe Mancini is already halfway out of the Man City window, judging by what I hear from the Wastelands’ backroom staff. So, buck up. Two of our three rivals may be on the edge of a precipice. That leaves only Arsenal, and we all know what they’re like when the pressure’s on: as flaky as a PIG’s euro.

We may all be doomed — but at least we have a chance of heading to Hell as ‘The Crap Champions’...