Manchester United 2 Everton

Matt Busby once wrote in Soccer At The Top: “If anything is to be gained from football, it is to be gained bywinning or losing with dignity. If there are nations whose people so losethemselves in their emotions as to encourage the thug and the cheat they can be educated only by example.”

AH, remember the Good Old Days, when to be a relatively well-informed citizen and football fan didn’t require a first class economics degree?

HOW did we do last night, then? Not that it matters very much, I suppose: thanks to the rather fortunate win in Catalonia, this group appears to have gone into a coma, which prompted Messrs Fergie and Carrick pre-match to sound off about how “great” the Champions League still is in terms of excitement in its group stages.

WHEN I first interviewed Alex Ferguson in the mid-Nineties, having always prided myself in being able to remain unimpressed in the face of celebrity, I emerged from the session somewhat shamefaced.

YOU ARE always grateful for any trophy, of course. Even in 2006, when we all took the mickey out of Fergie for his pretence that the League Cup victory made the season a success, we were still very glad we had won it. Indeed, in retrospect, that final can be seen as an especially crucial moment – the day Fergie finally decided to abandon Nistelrooy, and one-up front, and instead put his total trust in the DoRooRon.

NORMALLY, dear reader, you and I are already putting the past weekend to bed and looking forward to the future on these Wednesday mornings, aren’t we?

Manchester United fans will ask all small shareholders to sign a pledge not to sell their shares in an attempt to ward off any potential takeover of the club.