Japanese ‘jackpot’ will mean nothing without Potteries points

GREETINGS from my Christmas holiday base, where I am escaping the vicious UK weather and economic collapse; I figure what’s good for the players is good for the fans too.

Ok, so the lads got through some mild work in Japan too and we are all most grateful for the opportunity to graffiti, in six-year-old style, “Champions of England, an’ Europe, an’ the world, cosmos and everyfink!”

I think I made my dim view of that entire enterprise clear enough last week, but I can’t help point out that the players “celebrated” Rooney’s goal with scarcely more enthusiasm than they would a 5-a-side winner at Carrington.

And Rooney’s pricelessly bemused expression when handed a giant key stamped ‘Toyota’ spoke volumes. I doubt Wayne would even let his gardener make do with some Japanese box!

An under-whelmed air of tackiness enveloped Yokohama and I bet they’re almost looking forward to visiting the relatively classy surroundings of Stoke-on-Trent on Friday.

Most of us would gladly hand back the various oriental baublesin exchange for three Potteries points.

The fact that it is Liverpool we are chasing, and that the historical records are so beautifully poised (18-17) is truly adding a piquancy to the race this season, therefore any unwelcome blow back from the jet-lagged jaunt is not going to go down well.

It is bad enough that we will be losing our best defender for the past two seasons for at least part of what will be the highlight of the New Year — the Inter Milan tie. Does the Vidic elbow, which will clearly hurt us more than the victim, constitute further evidence of an incipient discipline problem at OT?

After the Ronaldo kick and the Rooney stamp, together with the embarrassing outbursts of Fergie and ‘Red’ Nev against Real Madrid and the FA, we do seem to be entering one of our ever-entertaining red mist periods.

Fergie in particular always seems to enjoy these (and gratuitously stirred the cauldron further the other week by renewing hostilities with the OT presspack) not least because they usefully deflect attention from other ongoing issues.

In the current climate, that would be the oddly stuttering performances recently and perhaps the Berbatov ‘debate’ which refuses to leave the stage. I wonder how long it’ll be before Fergie, to complete the perfect Berb-Veron symmetry, treats us all to one of his infamous purple-nosed “you’re all effing idiots” outbursts?

It’s what we all want for Christmas, too.

For once, I’d be cheering him on. Any judgement on Berbatov would be premature until May, for starters.

And I note today that Dimitar is recorded as having created 37 chances already, according to the Sunday Telegraph — one more than Rooney. Some ‘failure’!

Meanwhile, there’s talk this week of Gary Neville being snatched as a player-coach by Allardyce’s Blackburn, which must not be allowed to happen.

Many of us love to pull Gary’s leg, and there’s no doubt he’s a prize plum much of the time, but as I have written here before he is a proper football intellect with a superb appreciation; a place on our own coaching staff ought to be guaranteed.

And I’m pretty sure he knows his own first name too.

Mark Hughes certainly knows his own first name: it’s “beleaguered”. Post-Yokohama, there’s actually been more discussion amongst Reds about City’s unexpected plight than the Toyota trinket — the ‘yellow submarine’ chant was already been reworked to “City’s going down with the Arabs’ oil price...”

Typical City contamination curse: one week you buy the cursed club, the next your main assets cropped 60% in value!

Yes, yes, we know it’s only postponing the inevitable but in the meantime, what larks for Red Manchurians. World champions, and City relegated: it’s what we head our Santa list with every year. Finally, we might get it! Happy Christmas to you all.

* Richard Kurt, whose Red Army Years is only available via [e-mail]