Idle talk aplenty as Devil’s own arrive

SO RUN that shortlist of candidates by us again. Fickle? Me? Because although last night was a convincing reprieve, after the Reading debacle, and the visit of the Devil’s own spawn producing its usual grotesque charade, we could still be looking for a new boss.

That’s how modern football works, doesn’t it? A week is a long time in politics, an eternity in this most impetuous of games. It’s a mark of our club’s importance that certain names already thrown into the mix are also being linked to the England job.

Capello and Klinsmann were two of the stranger names, but none can surpass the surreal outrage of the whispers concerning Jose Mourinho.

While it would be fun to see the lovely Trizia’s head finally go ‘pop’ at the wretched Scouse awfulness of it all, surely this is never going to happen? It’s not even about clauses inserted in the Chelsea payoff to The Spesh, but the thought of such muddled thinking within the Anfield hierarchy; “let’s get rid of that loudmouth Benitez and get the shy gracious yes-man with the grey hair and the wavy lip”. Mind you, with Parry involved…

Look, it’s all sensationalist short-term garbage. You know it and I know it, but I’ve tired of the struggle. It’s actually feels good to give up on archaic customs like Patience and seeing where your team stands at the end of the season.

Sink back and soothe yourself in the sickly gloop of hearsay and wallow in the crackpot shallowness of it all.

There are scientists taking a break from explaining the universe in order to try and work out Rafa’s latest formation. They’ll soon head back to their laboratories... oh for the quiet life.

If the Voronin plan against Reading was for him to go missing for long periods of the game and make it up as he went along, it worked perfectly.

Quite why Reading are deemed worthy of two defensive midfielders, no one knows. It’s a strategy that’s never worked yet.

Tell another supporter that the rumoured £20million (€27.7m) required for Mascherano’s purchase might be a tad excessive and they go all Torquemada on you.

Sometimes his passing is dreadful and he makes little or no creative contribution. The collapse of his move would only cause real concern because it’d trigger Rafa’s next (final?) hissy fit.

Whilst Sissoko should erase the word ‘footballer’ from any documentation in his possession before the fraud squad is tipped off. Did Juventus really offer us £12m (€16.6m)? But both in the same team? Pundits who rarely praise Liverpool do give begrudging respect to our defence. To give it such protection and still concede three goals is the height of absurdity.

Like a man who wears a belt and braces, Rafa doesn’t even trust his own pants. Protecting Hobbs may have been a factor, but it was self-defeating and we need Agger back.

We handed the early initiative to the home side while we struggled with the new formation like an octopus with scotch tape at Christmas.

The penalty was harsh, but it was a poor challenge by Carragher anyway. Reading’s home record is none too shabby, and we’ve made it even better.

Our own record at 0-1 during Rafa’s reign is appalling. All we’ve gained so far this season is the three points from that freak-show at Goodison Park. Whining about penalties conceded/not given makes us sound like Moyes and his gargoyle ilk over the way. On that comical day Gerrard was replaced on 70 minutes, the game still to be won, after allegedly playing without intelligence. The CL game was a few days later, coincidentally.

He gave away a stupid free kick that handed Reading the lead again, and at 1-3 with 25 minutes to go he was replaced again — with Marseille three days off. Premiership priority? I wish I had a laugh left.

We swapped centre halves with 10 minutes remaining. Even with everything he’s achieved, Ferguson would get lynched if he did anything so crushingly negative — and rightly so.

They’ve had their blip at Bolton, followed by three easy home games to get back on track. We’ve had Marseille, next United, Chelsea and Portsmouth. Expect Rafa to moan to the FA about that too.

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Join us for a special evening of Cheltenham chat on Friday March 12 at 6.30pm with racing legend and Irish Examiner columnist Ruby Walsh, Irish Examiner racing correspondent Tommy Lyons, and former champion jockey and tv presenter Mick Fitzgerald, author of Better than Sex.

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