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FORGIVE me for being about to quote myself, which is both a tad naff and certainly lazy, but I’ve just hared back to my digs to write this after seeing United all but confirm the Holy 19th, and am claiming the right to do so..

THAT revival didn’t last long. I really don’t know what to make of Ancelotti.

I CANNOT believe that the England captaincy is still making headlines in the papers — isn’t it time to just move on?

AT half-time on Sunday I was planning this article based on the theme of missed opportunities and bemoaning the lack of positivity from our tactics.

FOR a few years now press, pundits and opposition fans have been banging on about how we have an ageing squad and that was going to be our downfall.

I was hoping that the presence of Jose Mourinho at Craven Cottage on Monday would have somehow inspired Carlo Ancelotti in the substitution department.

WE thought it was all over — it is now! As good a manager Ancelotti is, I wonder whether he could do with a lesson is psychology.

IT’S good to be despised again. Enemies of football once more. Ruining the game, the axis of evil etc. Funny how we didn’t hear these phrases when City were buying anything that moved.

HOPEFULLY, by the time you read this, the Luiz deal will have been completed.

ANCELOTTI has said that, with hindsight, stating we would not lose at Wolves was a mistake.

WHEN John Terry’s goal hit the back of the net last Sunday, Stamford Bridge celebrated like we had just won the European Cup.

I DO not believe for a moment that there was anything sinister about our game against United being called off on Sunday.

THE self-destruct button at Chelsea FC High Command must be well worn.

SO you have injuries which mean your first choice centre backs are both injured?

IT’S ALWAYS hard to lose a game, but to lose to arguably the worst Liverpool side for decades (with only a couple of players excused from that description) is depressing.

WHAT a difference a goal makes. The first half against Blackburn last Saturday was truly woeful. We were lethargic, too narrow, outfought and outpaced.

A good performance in Moscow was followed by a “workmanlike” show against Wolves — that just about sums up the Chelsea football of the past week.

CAUTIOUS is one word that can be used to describe last Saturday’s performance against Villa. Dull is another.

IT used to be that you could always rely on Chelsea to spice up those vacant weeks when the international programme lays a dead and frosty hand across football.

I LOVE the smell of Gooner blood in the morning...

LAST season’s exit from the Carling Cup was also followed by a loss away at Eastlands – a phase which saw only one win in seven games – I hope there are no Groundhogs around this season.

I USED to like Scott Parker and was disappointed we let him go. He’s the kind of player who gives 100% and that effort usually wins over the majority of fans.

CHELSEA taught Wigan not just one, but several lessons on Saturday.

I WAS worried before the West Brom game. Don’t get me wrong, we were always going to be stronger than the newly-promoted side, but I did wonder whether we were going to see some major bottom lips on display after news was leaked of the abolition of various bonuses.

I HAVE always suffered with PMT – that’s Pre-Match Tension – but the week leading up to the Liverpool game was torturous. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t sleep, I was distracted, my nerves were shot to pieces with the thought that we could have come so close and then throw it away for the third and final time at Anfield.

I’M not sure whether to laugh or cry. On Sunday a man by me felt ill and there were numerous calls for assistance. As stewards and medics raced up the stairs another fan slipped and fell a**e over tit in the opposite direction.

AS if I needed another reason to hate Spurs . . . but we can’t rely on a side that has never beaten a top four team away from home in the Premier League to do us a favour.

WHETHER Ferguson’s bleating about the referee was frustration at what he perceived as an injustice, or whether it was an attempt to give confidence back to a team that was second best on the day, only he knows, but although the referee didn’t have an outstanding game, Chelsea were deserving winners.

REPEAT after me Carlo – 4-3-3, 4-3-3, 4-3-3 – got that?

SO where do we go from here? Sunday against Blackburn was the time for the manager and team to stand up and be counted – they didn’t.

WRITING this column on Monday is particularly difficult because whatever happened last night will have a huge impact on the rest of the season.

SORRY if I seem a little distracted this week. Moving house (second time in a year) not only dampened my sunshine disposition but left little time to weigh up all matters red.

PLANET EARTH has been saved — the evil shagging monster that threatened the morality of the universe has been vanquished. Now that John Terry has been stripped of the captaincy, the balance of the cosmos can return.

THERE are a lot of people out there who need a lesson in compartmentalisation. And most of them have been polluting the airwaves, blogosphere, and the newspapers over the past few days.

THERE have been a few games where I could claim Chelsea could have scored seven or eight, but not one where we can say we could have had 15 or more – and still be on the conservative side.

DUE to circumstances beyond my control I was unable to go to the Hull game – so I was delighted when it was called off

THE ghost of Christmas past seems to have come back to haunt us at this “festive” period – and the phantom seems to be rather familiar . Ancelotti’s tenure as Chelsea manager appears to be scarily mirroring that of his predecessor Scolari and it’s giving most of us Chelsea fans more than a little bit of indigestion.

UNITED and ourselves seem to be locked in a battle to determine who can throw the league away first – meanwhile Arsenal sneak back into the title race almost unnoticed. A laboured win and a fortunate draw against the two worst sides in the league have left me struggling to explain what is going on.

TOP of the league, a point better off than last week and United, Liverpool and Tottenham all losing in the same weekend — you’d think I’d be happy.