Disjointed and non-United but it can win you trophies

ONE of my favourite regular correspondents amongst the readers of this column remarked to me after the Benfica victory last week that my “momentary excitement and delusions of reaching the final may well have been dampened by last night, no?!”

He was referring to the €200 bet I put on us to get to the final, in apparent contravention of all good sense and my own natural pessimism. Yet whilst it is true that the performance was grimly disjointed and, as Fergie himself admitted, somewhat ‘non-United’, such are the slightly shame-faced nights that win you trophies. After all, here we are, all but assured of qualification for the knockout stage — and simultaneously top of the league, despite several games in which we have been less than stellar, including what seemed like an epochal home defeat to Arsenal.

That Gunner Stunner had us all conjuring up the nightmares of 1998 and 2002 when Arsenal, by winning at Old Trafford, marked their temporary dominion over us, in both cases resulting in Arsenal titles. Suddenly all that seems forgotten and the identity of the two heroes of Sunday are significant.

Solskjaer, who I ought not need remind you is this club’s most loved player, scored his first home Premiership goals since April 5, 2003. Now then: a glorious flashback indeed. For that was during the magical spring spell that also saw Ole’s magisterial turn against Sunday’s opponents up at St James’, when United’s six goal dazzler put us en route to the most Devon Lochian title win in memory. Then again, also playing a blinder that day was John O’Pie, over whom we shall diplomatically draw a veil.

These optimistic comparisons can only take us so far, it seems. The other hero of Sunday, Ronaldo, is rapidly making us content to sweep his summer stupidities under a convenient carpet.

If only there was a third name to add to the roster of honour, namely Wayne Rooney. Most of last season I clung to the belief, repeated often here, that if United could have both Roo and Ron on form at the same time, nothing would stop us.

Rooney duly delivered for much of the campaign but Ronaldo increasingly became a non-delivering enigma. Of course, now we know why: his eyes were wandering elsewhere, specifically horizons Iberian.

Yes, he may be producing what turn out to be shop-window performances. So what? When the goods are coming through our door as frequently as this, we can live with it. How excruciating, though, that Rooney should be travailing through his own Valley of Forlorn at precisely this moment.

Every ex-pro and barrack-room shrink has had his say on his slump, to little real enlightenment, and I am not going to pretend that I have anything special to impart, beyond making a couple of observations.

One is that Old Trafford was once well-used to the phenomenon of world-class players going through lengthy lean spells. Just because, in recent years, our VERY best players have been the kinds of consistent Trojans who just don’t do slumps — Keane, Robson, Ince — we have forgotten that the Seventies and Sixties superstars were very susceptible indeed. Charlton was maddeningly inconsistent; Law would disappear for weeks on end; Best had legendary black-dog months.

Rooney will be fine — if he is treated well. Eamon Dunphy, a figure to whom I would always defer in matters United and who knows more than most about dressing rooms in decline or conflict, has suggested that Rooney’s demeanour speaks of a fundamental problem within the club. By which, one assumes, he means more than just the usual Dunphy-prescribed disease of ‘lack-of-Keane-itis’. I don’t know if there is anything to his supposition, although one does hear more reports of dressing room aggro than one would expect, given that the old catalysts Roy and Ruud have left.

According to my sources, one such bust-up allegedly took place between a midfielder and a defender in Lisbon, for example. Naturally, one will continue to cock a keen ear for any such rumblings but meanwhile one trusts Wayne will receive whatever he needs to get back on top. Special treatment such as the deserving Ronaldo received, who I am told was excused the team flight back from Lisbon last week so that he could hang out with compatriots there for an extra night. Old warhorses tut-tut at this kind of exceptionalism but Fergie has often been very good at this kind of thing. And any man who can get as much as he did out of a challenging case like Cantona is surely worth placing some trust in when it comes to handling Rooney.

*Richard Kurt is author of The Red Army Years