Tommy Martin: Champions League now a series of Test matches, but Real still an apex predator

Uefa have created a series of set-piece events that are almost without greater context. Champions League games seem to take on their own narratives.

ACE PREDATOR: Vinicius Junior of Real Madrid celebrates scoring his team's fifth goal during the Champions League win over Dortmund. Photo by Denis Doyle/Getty Images

There is a rare moment of wit in the unloved Star Wars prequel The Phantom Menace, when Ewan McGregor and Liam Neeson are riding around in a little submarine under the surface of some strange watery planet or other for some narrative purpose that escapes me now.

Suddenly, behind Ewan and Liam’s tiny craft looms a giant fishy monster thing, which is poised, for a dreadful moment, to devour the two Celtic thespians whole. Then, out of nowhere, a bigger giant fishy monster thing emerges from the watery murk to gobble up the first one, allowing Ewan and Liam in their little sub to make their escape. The scene concludes when the second giant fishy monster thing, guzzling down its prey, is itself suddenly swallowed whole by a third, even bigger giant fishy monster thing.