Why all the fuss? Here's 20 reasons Roy Keane may have knocked on Tom Cleverly's door ...

In the inky trade, ‘man bites dog’ might be the gold standard for what qualifies as a legitimate news story but, in the case of Roy Keane, ‘man rings doorbell’ appears to be more than enough to merit the full shock ’n awe treatment.

(One can only shudder to think what the reaction would be if himself actually took a notion one day to sink his gnashers into one of his beloved pooches).

According to the first reports of the week’s most famous house call, Keane “furiously” rang Tom Cleverley’s doorbell before, in the absence of any response, “storming” or “stomping” off, depending on which version — if any — you choose to believe. (Such is the generally excitable tone of a lot of the media coverage of Keane’s doings, that one is tempted to imagine him, of an evening, putting on his coat and announcing that he’s “taking the dogs for a stomp”).