James a picture book pro

LIKE him or scoff at his, shall we say idiosyncrasies (Caribbean cocktail of hair colours, for starters), no-one can ever describe David James as your typical Premier League half-wit.

While he frequently delves into his locker of howlers, earning him the Calamity James sobriquet, James has proved there’s more going on above his eyebrows than a tongs and a bottle of dye. When he refers to ‘artists’, he ain’t necessarily talking about England pal Wazza, who contributed in no small way to James’ miserable afternoon on Saturday.

“Salvador Dali is one. He’s technically superb. Dali can match Renaissance art of Michelangelo, but he also does the abstract. Simply put, Dali is your Wayne Rooney equivalent: he can do the technical stuff but he can also do a bit more. He also invested meaning and emotion into his paintings.”