Angry Fans 9/5/2006
MESSAGE to all Cockerels; you should not have counted your Champions League chickens before they had hatched (Angry Fans 02.05.06) since bird flu can hit Cockerels at crucial moments!
LIAM, Oh, my aching sides!! I haven’t’ stopped laughing since the final whistle went on the Premiership on Sunday. “Are you watching, Tottenham?” will be the cry for another 12 months where the Champions League is concerned. Best regards Liam for the summer respite
WHY on earth was a helicopter dragging an enormous Arsenal banner through the North London skies on Sunday at 6.30pm? What have they done? Where exactly in the Premiership did they finish? And have they actually won the Champions League yet? I don’t think so. Pride comes before a fall, they say. I hope so, anyway.
What do you mean where did they finish? They finished as high as Everton last year! Don’t you know that in the Premiership, fourth is the new first?
JUST do not know why you call this feature Angry Fans. The whole point of being a fan is that you love your team and support them through the good times and the bad. If you were to look back though the season’s letters you would see that the fans are only angry with other teams, not their own. Perhaps you would care to change the nomenclature next season? I suggest, Complacent Fans. And while you’re at it, why don’t you change Terrace Talk to Biased Bullsh*t?
I told the Editor that offering our readers an Anger Management course at the start of the season was not a good idea. And it gets worse. Watch out next season for our beautiful new series: What’s So Funny About Peace, Love And Understanding Fans.
MIDDLESBROUGH sent out a new team. A young team. An English team. A local team. They lost. Dream on . . .
Ah well, at least it gives Steve a bit of a dry run for the World Cup.
DOES anyone think it’s really a good idea to have someone with the dress sense and haircut of an ageing Teddy Boy in charge of a national team?
That’s not a very nice thing to say about Steve Staunton.
MOURINHO looks very sour. He looks like he died the day before yesterday. All he can do is moan. He is totally English now. That’s all they can do well. Moan.
Get a shave Mourinho. Get a life. Get a decent team. Money cannot buy happiness. Everyone but you knows that. Maybe Rooney can buy happiness.
Can you get him, Mourinho?
You weren’t dining with Spurs on Saturday night by any chance, were you?
GREAT to see London beaten. Even if it is just Charlton Athletic. Goodbye, Curbishley. No hard feelings. But we never rated you.
Manchester United is still the best. Especially with that ginger Scholes coming back into the side at last. Can he see? No one minds. It’s just good to see him back on the pitch. Ferdinand was stunning, Jaffa cakes an all. Rooney was all smiles. Sort that foot out boy, and we will go all the way next season. Now for the World Cup. Full of Man. U. players. Yeah.
Sorry Pat but Man United won’t win the World Cup. Might finish second though.
SAVE of the season on Match of the Day? Not much hope for England in the World Cup I’d say. All the English goalkeepers need to rely on lucky saves by wood to keep the ball out. “It’s hit the post!”
Why don’t you grab the ball boys? Too embarrassed to hold a ball, you English toffs? Goal posts can’t move, you know. That’s why you have those big gloves. Get on it. Take a leaf from Shay Given, Packy Bonner and Pat Jennings
“Why don’t you grab the ball boys?” Frankly, I’ve never been more relieved to spot a missing comma.
WHO will finish fourth? And get that Champions League place? Great matches. I’m watching them now. Arsenal v Wigan ¯ excitement. Lehmann beaten 2-1, or so we think. Thompson’s goal is fantastic.
Meanwhile, Tottenham are 1-0 behind. And then, the wonderful Defoe, equalises while Arsenal are behind. Where to look? Which game to watch? In my pub, both are on, both are fascinating. Now Henry scores. Onside? Yes, apparently. Equalises! 2-2 Tense.
It’s like a tennis match. Heads swivelling. Who’s going to come fourth? Already now, this minute, Henry scores again. Pires substituted. Will we see him again for Arsenal? Johannsen sent off! Only been there for a minute before he gives away a penalty and Henry scores.
Poor old Spurs. A penalty for West Ham! But Robinson saves Sheringham’s shot. Phew! Then West Ham are 2-1. Tottenham are in trouble. Have they been poisoned? Back at the library it’s 4-2 with Bergkamp playing for the final few minutes. Always liked Bergkamp. Looks like Tin Tin.
North London is shaking with cheers from White Hart Lane, Highbury and local pubs. Is this a good day for football? Fantastic. Who more deserves to play Champions League football than Arsenal? No one. Wenger is optimistic. Henry is sexily French. Ashley Cole, in his last game for Arsenal, perhaps, is upbeat.
Tottenham, bless them, are down-hearted. Keane is fabulous. But Arsenal have the depth.
Great. Fantastic. Exciting. Watch out Chelsea in 2006-2007. They’re coming to get you.
Good man Denny. Have a Letter of the Week prize for bringing us the edited highlights. Who needs Sky or Setanta?
WHY, oh why, oh why are us Irish so obsessed with English football? Veronica Guerin loved it and played it, God rest her soul. Seamus Deane waxes lyrical about it in his wonderful novel Reading in the Dark. Stella Feehily, our state of the art playwright, writes endlessly about it. What is wrong with our own great sports? Rugby? GAA? Hurling? Come on you Irish. Get a life. An Irish life.
How long must we sing this song? Red card. Or a sin bin if you prefer.
WHEN Beckham broke his foot the whole of the global economy was in danger of losing advertising revenue. The happiness and well-being of England was in peril. Now Rooney has broken his foot. Will The Sun repeat its front cover featuring the broken digit and asking us to lay our hand on it and pray? Irish prayers, obviously, are more powerful than any English attempts, but can we be bothered? Oh dear, England do not win the World Cup. What’s new? And should we care. I think not.
Doesn’t look good. My own prayer group is offering up a novena for Paraguay.
GRAND! A new book telling us Mourinho’s tips for football and management. Who’s going to buy that in Cork? We just hate his arrogance — and he has no fashion sense. A dire end to the season Mourinho. Arsenal and Man United have something to teach Chelsea about how to finish well and look good
It’s the last Angry Fans of the season and where the hell is Cork Blue when you need him?
